Sometimes I just wiish I can just off my hp, not returning any sms/calls & not to communicate with anybody till I sorted out everything. But I know I cant. So this is the time where I will turn to my blog when I don't want to bother anybody. After quite a long time of not coming here for stuff like this, I am back here again. This is the only place where I can pour out everything when I don't wan to tell anybody. Pardon me, but I just want to keep everything to myself because I see no point telling anybody. Nothing will change anyway. It is just up to me if I understand what I really want & just let go of things that are hurting me. But being the stubborn me, I know I won't let go that easily. Everytime when things happen, I just hope that some miracles will happen & problems will just solve by themselves. But things aint that simple, most of the times I will end up getting hurt further the longer I dragged them. This time is the same kind of situation I faced the last time, just that it is much more complicated, much much harder. 


The past few months had been a joke. Seriously I don't know what had I been doing. I don't know if it's worth holding on, but I just don't feel like giving up because I was hoping for my effort to be paid off one day. I don't know how/why we had came to such situation but it's like we are playing with fire & we will get hurt sooner or later. I really don't want to hurt anybody but maybe it might be better letting go now & pick up from where I was a few months back?? If only I can pretend that nothing had happened. But whatever that happened had already happened, how do I tell myself to just forget them? Maybe you will never know how hurt I actually am because I will never tell you, but I hope we can be just like what we are last time. No doubt I am badly affected by it but I will still be the normal cheerful me in front of you. As much as I hate pretending to be happy in front of you when I am not, I will still try my best because I don't want you to be unhappy or be affected by me. I am not blaming you for anything because I am at fault too. It always take two hands to clap. I should have known better & stop things from happening. Maybe we should treat it as a joke & just hope that one day we will forget them.