Saturday, August 27, 2011
260811
yst was mum's 56th..again..haha
HAPPY BIRTDHAY DEAREST MAMA!! :)
though we din really celebrate, it was still okay..
we just went for a meal..but simple is good rite..haha..
anyway, really really hope tat 56th will be a better year for u..in terms of all, esp health..& be happy! =)
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PE today..to be honest idk who to vote..
i am struggling betwn the 2 docs..haha..
so in the end reach there den decide...
actually i am fine with any of the 2 docs..so it doesnt matter who i voted eh..
super tired today..& I slept from after dinner till 9 plus..oops..
but still feeling sleepy when i woke up..is tat a sign? oh no.
I tink whole week nt enough slp lox..mostly 5hrs oer day, so have to compensate..haha..
okay tue is PH again..looking so forward to......more slp..whee~
am feeling much better this week..thks peeps ^^
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Monday, August 22, 2011
Had a long bus ride home after work today. I bus-ed home from Harbourfront instead of taking the MRT. I think I must be crazy to take a good 1.5h bus journey home alone. Haha. But it was still good cos I really needed some time alone. I know I may be emo at times but believe me, after a day or so I will be okay. It's just that small period of time, at that moment when I felt damn helpless which explains the long emo posts. I thought it over, whatever that will happen will still happen. We still have to accept no matter what. Given up on wiishing for anything to be better cos the outcomes will always be the opposite of what I want it to be. I should just be contented if they don't worsen. So whatever problems that want to come, just come. I don't believe I can't solve u all one by one. Anyway mum's appt has been push to the earliest next month cos their earlier slots are all full. One month is quite long though cos we don't really know how's her condition will be but just hope it doesn't get worse lox. As for you, I got no time to think about it. But just see how things go ba. I am sorry for not replying to any sms. I didn't mean it but just give me one more day.
Sometimes we don't need advice, we just need somebody to listen. That will be good enough.
Labels: 相通了
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Sunday, August 21, 2011
And as if I am not vex enough, another thing just had to happen. I don't know what's wrong with mum again, her problem is like never-ending. I thought she just had her eye operated but it seems like there is something blocking her vision again?! Her next appointment is in Nov. So now what? Push forward the appt? When can we have our peaceful life back? Why must problems keep occurring after one & another? Just when I thought everything are more stable now & she only need to go back hospital for check-up once every few months, problems just had to find us again. Everything is like back to square one. I am already sick & tired of being the one having to handle everything. Seriously, I dread going to hospital. Period. And all these problems are making me feeling more & more tired about life. I really don't need anymore tests/challenges in life, I had enough please. Yes, I admit I do get emo easily but it's the trait of a piscean isn't it? I want to believe that things will only get better but it's hard to convince myself now. Just let us off will you?
Results are coming out real soon but I totally don't feel anything with all these problems. Anyway, I know I won't do well so not much difference. No expectation = no disappointment. Right?
I just want to be happy, happier than the past 22 years. Is this so hard to achieve? I really need some time alone. Bye.
Labels: Just let me be
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Sometimes I just wiish I can just off my hp, not returning any sms/calls & not to communicate with anybody till I sorted out everything. But I know I cant. So this is the time where I will turn to my blog when I don't want to bother anybody. After quite a long time of not coming here for stuff like this, I am back here again. This is the only place where I can pour out everything when I don't wan to tell anybody. Pardon me, but I just want to keep everything to myself because I see no point telling anybody. Nothing will change anyway. It is just up to me if I understand what I really want & just let go of things that are hurting me. But being the stubborn me, I know I won't let go that easily. Everytime when things happen, I just hope that some miracles will happen & problems will just solve by themselves. But things aint that simple, most of the times I will end up getting hurt further the longer I dragged them. This time is the same kind of situation I faced the last time, just that it is much more complicated, much much harder.
The past few months had been a joke. Seriously I don't know what had I been doing. I don't know if it's worth holding on, but I just don't feel like giving up because I was hoping for my effort to be paid off one day. I don't know how/why we had came to such situation but it's like we are playing with fire & we will get hurt sooner or later. I really don't want to hurt anybody but maybe it might be better letting go now & pick up from where I was a few months back?? If only I can pretend that nothing had happened. But whatever that happened had already happened, how do I tell myself to just forget them? Maybe you will never know how hurt I actually am because I will never tell you, but I hope we can be just like what we are last time. No doubt I am badly affected by it but I will still be the normal cheerful me in front of you. As much as I hate pretending to be happy in front of you when I am not, I will still try my best because I don't want you to be unhappy or be affected by me. I am not blaming you for anything because I am at fault too. It always take two hands to clap. I should have known better & stop things from happening. Maybe we should treat it as a joke & just hope that one day we will forget them.
Well, I guess we cannot always have the 船到桥头自然直 kind of attitude whenever we are caught up in sucky situations. It doesnt always work. Moreover I had encountered this kind of situations many times, so much so that I think I am numb to them already because I know I will face more of such in future. Many times I really hope that everything is just a dream & when the time is up, I will eventually wake up. I really hate the me now, not knowing what to do & not firm with my decision. I hate the fact that whenever I had decided on something, my heart will tell me otherwise. Tell me, is letting go a better choice? I really don't know how. :(
Labels: past tense
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Tuesday, August 16, 2011
today is a super suay day..
nth can describe how i felt the whole day man..
firstly, i overslept & thus nv go to work..
the moment i woke up & saw how bright my room was, my heart was all "damn Damn DAMN!!"
i hate the feeling of waking up late...one main thing was idk how to tell the boss..
2nd thing is my day will be damn screwed up & my mood will be super down the whole day..
everytime when i overslept, the feeling will be the same..
seriously idk wat's wrong with mi..idk is i din hear the alarm or the alarm just din go off..
but my hp was placed so far away from mi leh..aiya i really duno..
then later in the evening i was suppose to meet cousin to pass her something but guess wat, i forget to bring the thing..
but i only realised when i was abt to reached there..damn..
so in the end she had to followed mi back to get the stuff..& i nearly took the wrong bus if not for her..
duno wat's happening..today just sucks..
the only thing that made my day was when i heard the good news from shuang..haha..so happy for her can..congrats love!! :)
cant wait to meet her for the new updates..hahaha..
though i admit i am feeling abit unbalanced cos it seems like i am the odd one now..but trust mi i am really happy for her from the bottom of my heart..i just wiish for her to be happy ^.^
i still believe tat watever will be, will be.
okay i really wan go slp soon..
i dun wan today to repeat again tml!! :(
you will never understand.
Labels: damn day
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Saturday, August 13, 2011
12082011
watch cowboys & aliens with the supper gang yst after work..
jas & kh din join us again cos one gt sch, one gt work..
hopefully they can join on our nxt outing..haha
had mos burger as dinnre b4 the movie..
all time fav milk tea again..whee~
anw movie was okay okay only..but the cinema was damn cold..
cold until i am shivering even when i gt my jacket on..haha
after movie jason drove us home cos we were all tired from sch & work..
13082011
slack at home the whole day today cos really no mood to go out..
had been gg out after work almost everyday so decided to rest at home this weekend..
in need of rest but time still pass so fast..tml is sun ald!! :(
seriously idk wat's wrong with mi..i cant slp early at nitex & i cant wake up on time the nxt morning..
i really tried sleeping early but i jus cannt..den the nxt morning sure cant wake up & i will risk being late for work D:
whenever i reached office i will be so tired tat i keep wan to doze off..tsk tsk..
lucky morning not so busy..
but then when i reached home i will feel super awake..
i think my body clock is screwed up man..
need help man if not i will die sooner or later..haix..
mon blue sucks ttm la! okay BYE!
Whenever u wan to point finger at ppl, pls know tat ur 3 other fingers are pointing at yourself.
Labels: busy week
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Thursday, August 11, 2011
met shuang love for dinner at hg mall after work today :)
finally her exam ended..haha..we really need to go out soon..
super long nv go movie/shopping le..
anw, had a long talk with her during dinner..
happy abt her updates though still nt official..
but hopefully there will be good news from her the nxt time we met..heh ^^
& i realised i really love talking to her..
maybe cos we have too many similarities & we can und each other quite well..
after talking to her abt my stuff, it sets mi thinking abit further & i wonder if it is worth..
i really hope i wont fall deeper..but whenever i tink of the reason why i held on so long, i dun feel like giving up..so wat can i do? only time can tell i guess..haix..
but i noe she will stand by mi no matter wat happen..& i will too =)
went home ard 10 cos there's still work tml..sian ttm..
nitex!!
i believe we can be happy if we want to.
it's only up to us if we can let go of things that are hurting us.
but this is a level too high to attain..& i hope i can attain tat soon~
Labels: updates
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Tuesday, August 09, 2011
It's Singapore bday once again..Happy 46th birthday!!!
I love u so so much though u are damn boring! haha..
nth much today..din manage to get tic to the parade..so jus another boring day luh..
the only happy thing is there's no work..slept until quite late..haha..
den went buy breakfast, watch mio tv, play iphone & sleep again b4 gg out for dinner..
yes that's how i spent my holiday...whee~
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went jalan kayu with jason zj & wj (finally he appear!! haha) for supper yst nitex ^^
jason fetch mi & wj while zj met us there..
can consider my 1st time there & then realised it's near seng kang eh..haha
had prata & beancurd..prata was nt bad..
compared to my hse downstair one, most prata will be nicer..haha
left there ard 1am & went to kovan mac to chill..
talked abt sch & future work stuff..too much to talk liao..haha..
& they ald gt some plan in mind of what they gonna do in future..
but i still lost in my own world man..tsk :(
left at 2 30am & slept ard 3am plus yst nitex!
seldom sleep so late except when i went clubbing tat time..haha
anw thks zj for sending mi hm..haha
it's good to have car eh..haha
let's have more of supper gatherings again..with kh & jas nxt time :)
I know I am deceiving myself. All the time.
Why cant I just fucking face the damn reality?!
Tsk myself ttm! Period. :(Labels: Singapore is 46
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Tuesday, August 02, 2011
today had a fun day..though tiring :)
met kh at hg mall 1st in the morn for breakfast..
den met jas & zj at mrt along the way..reached bras basah & our museum tours start..
was quite excited cos haven go since sec sch le..plus now aug free admission..heh
haha..went 3 out of the 7 museums, sg art - peranakan & philatelic museums..
nth much eh..quite boring..tot the peranakan one will be interesting but i was wrong man..
instead the stamp one more interesting cos gt some hands on..haha
after our museum tourings, we bused to Prinsep street for lunch at strictly pancakes..
the pancakes were nice! worth the $..haha
nxt time goanna go there try other pancakes..
after lunch, jasline went home & the 3 of us went to watch Hanna..
movie was okay..but my shoulder ache & headache sucks..
must be the sun...damn hot lox :(
after movie we trained back to hg & waited for jason to end sch b4 gg for dinner nearby..
then was home sweet home..damn shag uh..
hopefully we will meet again soon cos their sch all gonna start nxt week already!
we still gt so many places we wan to go for nice food..haha
& our dear wj suddenly MIA..duno wat happen..totally cant find him at all..tsk tsk.
okay back to reality, there's work tml..
really hope i wont oversleep!! :o
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watched twisted with cousins & sis at ak hub on sun..
1st time we watched movie tgt eh..haha..
had pin si for dinner..the food not bad..
but the movie was not nice..
no storyline & no link..only mark lee's part was funny..after that boring all the way..
abit not worth the $10.50 lox :(
thks kwa kwa & ah wee for the movie & dinner though..
final destination nxt k ^^
Labels: museums
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